Q&A: Abuse of Women's Rights
Question: I don't understand how Islam can give all these rights to women and then place the man as the head of the household in a position to abuse the woman's rights. For instance, how can she hold on to her personal wealth if he tells her to hand it over?
Answer: Islam calls for both men and women to be educated, to learn to read and write, and to know their religion. If women knew their rights, they would be less likely to let themselves be abused in this manner.
A Muslim woman has the right to handle her own money. She does not have to support the family. Her husband has no right to demand that she contribute to the household expenses or that she hand over to him her money, no matter what its source is.
A woman who does give her money to a demanding husband is either ignorant of her rights or is allowing her rights to be abused! She should keep her own money, either in a bank account, such as an interest-free checking account, or in a rented safe deposit box.
There are, of course, times when the woman may wish to contribute to the family expenses, or when circumstances may make her feel the need to do so. She is free to share the expenses of the family, and God will reward her for it. The point is that she does not have to do so, and her husband has no right to demand that she do so.
She could just as well demand that he works two jobs, rather than that she work and pay expenses. But that might not be possible, for example if he is ill, nor might it be the best solution. That is for each couple to decide by the mutual consultation that the Qur’an orders, in Surah Ash-Shura 42, verse 38:
*{And those who respond to their Lord and keep up prayer, and their rule is to take counsel among themselves, and who spend out of what We have given them.}*
I may note here that some exegetes of the Qur’an have inferred from two verses (An-Nisaa' 4:34 and At-Tahrim 66:7) that whenever a husband is unable to support his wife, he is no longer her caretaker. Many scholars see that she is not obliged to remain at home - should he request it.
Here, she is entitled to have the marriage annulled. He is no longer a caretaker or entitled to oblige her to remain at home, because he has vitiated the objective of protecting her by marriage, for the aim of marriage is her security.
Please read:
Scope of Men’s Qawamah (Guardianship) over Women.
When any woman is considering a marriage proposal from any man, Muslim or non-Muslim, they should have long discussions to ascertain that they have the same understanding of the role and rights of each spouse. This is especially important if they were raised in different cultures.
Equally important is that the woman ascertain the man’s immigration status if he is not a citizen of the country they are living in. It is not uncommon, especially in Western countries, for men to marry in order to gain residence in the country, and a man who marries for that reason is more likely to abuse his wife’s rights.
Where we do not have Islamic courts to protect our rights, we have to be educated to know and assert our rights. Also, we have to be careful in choosing spouses. That goes for men as well as women.
Source: IslamOnline.net